Funny Die Bunheads Promo With Elephants and Lazers

The Flash returns with double the trouble as Captain Cold and Heat Wave come to Central City with plans of a diabolical nature.

Previously on The Flash …. Adorkable, mild-mannered forensic assistant Barry Allen got zapped with magical lightning that turned him into the fastest man alive and gave him abs that we have seen very little of, tragically. Following in the footsteps of his psychotic (and now dead, whoops, spoilers!) mentor Oliver Queen, he became a defender of justice—only without all the maiming. He finally found the guy who totes murdered his mommy when he was a wee Barry only to discover the guy was tougher, meaner and faster than him.

So, after getting a super beat down from the Reverse Flash, Barry has gone into training mode with the help of Cisco and his arsenal of gadgets. Caitlin and Professor Wells try to remind our dear stoner that this isn't one of his video games with the goal to blow the target—Barry—to smithereens, but what they fail to take into account is Cisco's glee at being able to play with lasers.

Leonard Snart, a.k.a., Captain Cold comes crashing back to Central City, and he's brought along his hot-headed pal Mick Rory. Around now I'm supposed to start with the Prison Break references, but unfortunately for my audience, I never watched the show so you will be disappointed.

I love this show, I do, but OMG the cheese factor with these two went to Adam West Batman levels. Seriously, they're going to have to work overtime to buff out all the teeth marks on the sets where Dominic Purcell was chewing the scenery.

Snart wants to do away with the Flash so he and his buddy can do all their crimes and nefarious shenanigans in peace. Rory just wants to burn things. Everything. Everywhere. All the time. But he is willing to go along with Snart's vendetta because Snart gave him that heat gun as a present and because no one else can put up with his crazy.

Barry, as the single solitary forensic scientist in Central City, examines the crime scene and is all, "Oh, my old buddy Captain Cold is back and he was setting a trap for me! I mean the Flash me, not the me me because—"

"Yeah, got it," says Joe.

Over in the lair of the bad guys, Mick is pondering his latest romantic sonnet to fire while Snart just gives him a frosty look. They snipe at each other a little and then Snart reveals they're going to steal a painting called "Fire and Ice." Subtle, show, reeeeal subtle.

Professor Wells tells Barry that he needs to focus on his training and not worry about the guy running around with a cold gun who can freeze everyone to death. Barry doesn't much like that idea and so Wells gets really mean and suggests that the last time he fought Captain Cold, he did more harm than good.

It's a testament to how evil Wells truly is that he can look into Barry's angelic face and say such terrible things.

Cisco has created some special shields to protect the Central City PD from frostbite. They're pretty skeptical that anything that comes out of Star Labs can be trusted, but Cisco stands up to them and tells them that sure, Star Labs maybe accidentally blew up parts of the city and let loose an army of super-powered menaces, but that was then and this is now.

After the demonstration, Joe has one of his arguments with Wells about the best way to parent Barry. Basically, he doesn't like the way that Wells is always trying to douse that light in Barry's eyes and so he had better knock it off. Wells glares at him with his patented, "I will cut you" look and then flounces off. It amazes me how effectively he can flounce in a wheelchair.

In response to her fiancé telling her to stop looking for him, Caitlin has begun an investigation into what "Firestorm" might be aside from a really cool super hero moniker. Barry thinks it might be an acronym, which is a spectacular leap of logic, and it turns out it is the improbable acronym of a science project meant to make transmutation a thing.

The rich people with the painting get off the plane and…. It's not in a crate? Really? Um….

Our two thieves show up to purloin the overpriced finger-painting, but more than that, Snart is hoping for a meet-cute (or meet-kill) with the scarlet speedster. But all he gets is a police squad forming a shield wall like the Spartans in 300. Rory froths and fumes and burns things, no matter how much Snart tells him to be a good dog. Then his gun gets shot and so flamey fun times have to end.

Barry sees that sitting on the sidelines apparently isn't going to work and he feels all sorts of guilty because a lot of cops got cooked while he was sitting on his hands. Joe doesn't freeze him out or put his feet to the fire, though, he just makes him promise to kick the crap out of the jerks the next time they show their faces.

Back in their lair of evil, Snart and Rory have a throw down. Rory doesn't understand why they can't just burn the whole city to the ground and pick through the ashes looking for valuables. Snart is really tired of his mad dog buddy going off script, but he doesn't put him on ice. He tells him to either take the painting and go or hang out and help him kill the Flash. Rory decides to stay so he torches the painting because he's nuttier than a fruitcake.

I half expected Snart to face-palm and go, "Dude, that was like our gas and food money for the next ever. Were you raised in a barn? That was on fire?"

But he doesn't, sadly.

Caitlin's investigation leads her to Jason Rush, who is a total hottie and needs to report shirtless to the nearest salmon ladder STAT. He doesn't really want to talk about project F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M because he has come to like living and would prefer to keep doing that. But she convinces him to tell her what he knows, which amounts to a crazy scientist named Martin Stein doing Mad Science and vanishing. Now where could he be, I wonder….

Captain Cold and Heat Wave decide that the best way to get the Flash's attention is to kidnap one of his friends. If there is one thing these writers do that annoys the snot out of me it's their obsession with the Damsel in Distress routine. Why did Caitlin have to be kidnapped instead of Cisco getting grabbed while he was out making his midnight Taco Bell run? I mean, Cisco was the one who gave Snart attitude and everything in their last meeting. Wouldn't he be the more logical target?

Over at Star Labs, Dr. Wells goes to have a talk with Barry. This scene starts with Wells all deep in the shadows as he says, "I hope we're not enemies" which makes me giggle. He wants Barry to know that he only has his best interests at heart, even when he is callously telling Barry to let super villains run amok.

Barry's all, "You know, I used to worship you and I had pictures of you taped all over my room with little hearts drawn around them, but now it's like we're—"

"Partners," Wells says.

Barry does a double take. "Wait, what?? OMG!!! Wait… No, you meant… Oh…. Um, I was gonna say 'friends'."

Then Barry gets the call about Caitlin being kidnapped and races off to get the details. Not that he needed to bother. In the usual villain fashion, Captain Cold hijacks the television signal to coldly crow about how he's got Caitlin so the Flash had better report for his beating.

And so the showdown is set, only this time all of Central City will be watching so the man, the myth, the legend that is the Flash will now be known as a real live hero. But Barry is ready to come out of that closet, so he runs off to put a stop to his intemperate enemies.

There's a joke here about hot and cold flashes…. Give me a second….

It's a pretty neat fight and Barry is really doing his best, but his enemies are pretty damn good too and no matter how much he weaves, Barry can't avoid getting hit. And that is where the best moment of the episode comes in.

Seeing the Flash about to get barbecued and flash-frozen in quick succession, Eddie Thawne rushes in to save the day. I love that he's already over his little snit about the Flash and sees him as a hero. And I was ecstatic to see a regular guy leap into the fray and save a superhero's life.

Flash then gets the two bad guys to blast each other, and the two guns connect like the wands of Harry Potter and Voldemort and go boom. Before Snart can recover, Flash is there and Snart calmly accepts his defeat—a bit too calmly.

Eddie comes up next to Flash and Flash thanks him for his help. I swear Eddie popped wood right then. The smile on his face was pure man-crush.

Meanwhile, Cisco and Joe save Caitlin from a rather useless and ineffective bomb. One would think they would have made the bomb big enough to take out the whole building and any would-be rescuers, but then Rory is totally nuts which doesn't lend itself to logical thinking.

Snart and Rory are carted off to Iron Heights and it just occurs to me that it makes no sense that two cities five hundred miles apart share one prison. Is this a Canadian thing? They have so few prisoners they can't imagine needing more than one prison?

It's moving day for Iris. Eddie is once again hilariously deluded into thinking this is far more okay with Joe than it really is. When he hints that Joe should call before coming over (because he might be defiling his sweet little angel) Joe once again gives him the "would going to jail for murder really be that bad?" look and Eddie deflates.

Barry Allen, the recipient of the Friend Zone's Citizen of the Year award, tells Iris that it will all be okay and she'll be really happy and everything will go back to normal which is an absolute lie because of course he will be pining for her forever, but Iris chooses to ignore his misery again and scampers off to canoodle with Eddie.

Since they're both bachelors and lonely, Barry and Joe decide that living together again makes sense so Barry goes and grabs his stuff. I like the way that sometimes Joe is the father figure and other times they're friends and equals.

So, surprising no one, we have a prison break—okay, even I can do that joke. On the way to Iron Heights, Snart and Rory are rescued by Snart's sister. I didn't know he had a sister. Can some helpful reader tell me who that is?

And so the terrible duo is free to commit crimes once again. From the hints about how Snart got Rory to learn every component of his gun, we can assume they can build their own versions of their weapons and will therefore be back in action.

If they're not careful, Barry will get annoyed with them and lock them up in his Super Villain Dungeon of Permanent Imprisonment.

That's it for this week. Sound off in the comments!

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Source: http://www.newnownext.com/the-flash-recap-110/01/2015/3/

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